ISSUE FEATURED
WEDDINGS PLANNING
RESOURCES ISLAND
DIRECTORY PLANNING
CHECKLIST
September-October 2010
Elisha Smith Beginnings Island commuters: The daily trek across the water
Spring-Summer Home & Garden 2010
Harmony on the plains A sense of belonging Emily Post, in her garden Your Vineyard Home A backyard symphony Getting rid of skunk smell Dr. Seussland on Martha’s Vineyard Inside a pro’s wine cellar
Martha’s Vineyard Island Weddings & Celebrations 2010
Photographer Randi Baird captured this joyful moment near the Edgartown Lighthouse during Monica Becerra and Bernard Baez’s nuptials on May 31, 2009.When the wedding planner is the MOB
She is the person the wedding planner tries her best to please, the one the caterer feeds with bated breath. She is not the bride. No, she is the mother of the bride, the MOB to those in the industry.
After working twenty-five years as an Island wedding planner, Patrie Grace officially became a MOBster two years ago when her eldest daughter, Nisa Kontje, announced her engagement to longtime boyfriend, Timothy Webster, who’s from Hanson.
For Patrie, the news was no surprise – it was practically love at first sight for the couple, who met aboard the Vineyard sailboat Juno in 2004. The surprises would come later: unpredictable Vineyard weather, a wedding to which no one turned down an invite, and a risotto recipe that sparked the warm and budget-friendly idea of a potluck for their October wedding dinner.
Rehearsal Dinner —
Island Cohousing /
Rehearsal Dinner Caterer —
Patrie Grace, Jaime Hamlin, and Nick Schilcher
Ceremony —
Private Beach in Aquinnah /
Reception and Sunday Brunch —
Private Cottage in Aquinnah
Celebrant —
Captain Scott DiBiaso /
Wedding Planner —
Patrie Grace of With Grace /
Caterer —
V. Jaime Hamlin and Sons and Potluck
Alcohol —
Our Market /
Music —
Ceremony: Joe Keenan and Elijah (Eli) Niya-Ball Carroll; Reception: DJ Curtis
Printing —
Tisbury Printer /
Rentals —
Big Sky Tent and Party Rentals /
Gown —
J Crew with Embellishments by Chrysal Parrot
Manicures —
Erin Leighton /
Hair and Makeup —
Tommye Ann Brown /
Rings —
Paul D’Olympia
So, there were two ground rules. One, the wedding had to truly reflect Nisa and Tim. “I wanted it to be about them and not what I might do as a wedding planner,” Patrie explains. This meant a ceremony in the sand for the avid sailors and a child-friendly reception, since Nisa and Tim have a one-year-old son, Theo. Ground rule two: The wedding had to be affordable, yet classically elegant and delightfully unique. The family set a budget, but rather than skimp on style, they got creative.
One of the first challenges was finding the perfect spot. Patrie rented an Aquinnah beachside property with a small cottage. The bridal party could get dressed there, the couple could get married in the sand, and the reception could take place in tents up by the cottage. Patrie’s sister made the wedding cake. Each of Nisa’s best girlfriends brought a white flower for her bouquet; Patrie did the bridesmaids’ bouquets and the groomsmen’s boutonnieres (which she pinned to their matching vests from Chilmark’s Allen Farm), and several friends helped make the table arrangements. For the rehearsal dinner, Patrie booked the free common space at Island Cohousing in West Tisbury, where she lives.
But, with a guest list that reached 250, some costs, such as catering and renting dishes and tents, seemed unavoidable. “Tim has a big extended family,” Patrie explains, “and since Nisa grew up here and they live here, there are a lot of friends here.” But then, over Christmas dinner, a solution presented itself. Patrie had prepared butternut squash risotto (she found the recipe in a Donna Hay cookbook) and with one bite, the light bulb went off. “This is a great staple for a dinner and you don’t need much else with it,” Nisa recalls thinking. Since they alone could not make risotto for 250 people, they decided to make the event a potluck. The idea was a natural fit for the family. “We have always, since Nisa was born, been very much community gathering people,” Patrie says.
Patrie and Nisa enlisted the culinary help of family friend and Island caterer Jaime Hamlin to prepare hot hors d’oeuvres, an autumn soup, and balsamic chicken over sautéed spinach. The guests brought the rest: freshly baked bread, finger desserts, cheese, olives, cut vegetables, plates of fruit, and of course, the butternut squash risotto, which was assigned to a handful of invitees with trusted culinary reputations. To cut costs further, Patrie borrowed mixed antique china from a friend instead of renting dishes.“Just keep saying yes,” Nisa remembers Patrie advising. “People ask, especially family and relatives, ‘What can we do to help?’ Instead of saying no, nothing, just say yes.” The antique dishes are a perfect example of how far a yes can go.
Answering yes created the community affair they had envisioned, but no amount of yeses could guarantee good weather. Two days before the early October wedding, hurricane-force winds blew in. The tents at the Aquinnah beachfront wedding site had to come down. The winds did not subside until the morning of the wedding, so with only hours to spare before guests arrived, the tents went back up and Patrie did the decorating. In jeans and a grubby sweatshirt, she was just finishing up when the first guests arrived. But by the time the ceremony began, no one was the wiser.
The wedding unfolded on true Vineyard time. The two o’clock ceremony started shortly before three. Nisa walked down a makeshift aisle of sand and beach stones, and the couple said I dos in front of family and friends, a crowd of children, and a bright blue sky. “I was definitely a little short of breath. I hadn’t been nervous until pretty much when we were walking out. Just seeing all the people and the faces and the wind and the water, it was breathtaking, definitely. It was a magic moment,” Nisa says.
Afterward, guests mingled over pomegranate and fresh-basil martinis before getting to the meat – and risotto – of the reception. The party lasted into the wee hours, though Nisa didn’t stay awake to see its end. “Theo had had quite a long day, so I fell into bed with him around 11:30,” she laughs.
All in all, the generosity of friends, and their planning and creativity dramatically cut the cost of the celebration, which included a rehearsal dinner for 60 and a reception guest list of 250. Patrie estimates a price tag of at least $75,000 for others planning a comparable affair. After the fact the mother of the bride might have made only one change: “If I could duplicate me and hire a wedding coordinator for just the day of the wedding,” she says. “But I have no sad feelings about that.”
In some ways, Patrie says, it was one of the easiest weddings to plan. “I have adored Nisa since the day she was born,” she gushes. “It was just so easy to want to keep surrounding her with anything I could possibly do to really make it feel like their vision of how they wanted their wedding.” K
VIEW MORE PHOTOS FROM NISA & TIMOTHY'S WEDDING
PHOTO ALBUM: When the wedding planner is the MOB
RETURN TO STORY
RETURN TO STORY
RETURN TO STORY